Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Dark




My life is dark
They say the night is darkest before the dawn
Except I've lost count of how many times someone has said that to me, or how many times I've tried to buoy my despair with that thought.
My life: One solid dark night but with a constant moon.
Sometimes full
Sometimes a sliver
Sometimes absent
But there nonetheless
A constant source of dim light
It doesn't lighten my life but only seems to stand as a far off witness-- a reminder that there is hope, however dim, however far off it may seem.
It is there.
It doesn't illuminate much, only my next footfall.
Maybe that is a reminder to not look further.
Thank you God, for my daily bread
For the light in my night
A promise of things to come.
But like the moon stands apart from the Earth, so I believe my hope lies on another world-- another life.
I've given up on any notion that day will dawn upon the endless night of my life.

3 comments:

Shamai said...

I KNOW how much you have grown, and where you have come from. Without the dark we wouldn't be able to discern the light.

I LOVE the new look of your website. You are an amazing woman!

Shamai

SynthGirl said...

Sounds like me with pain. I envision pain as a brick wall ever present at my back. In order to move, I have to arch my back against the wall of pain and inch my way upward, forward. Knowing pain so well, I have been fearful of giving it up for the sake of "squishy, unpredictable" joy.

Drop by for a visit, dark one.
-- SynthGirl
www.SynthiaMasters.com

Anonymous said...

I can relate to so much you are going though with pain. What ever you do dont turn your back on God, run to him. he is still there, dont let those negative thoughts get to you. Put all your trust in god he will do wonders in your life.