My life has seemed to be some sort of cosmic "Plan B". When nothing is as it should be and a soul is in shambles, how does one fill in the lines? They must break the assumed boundaries and find a way. My life has been that: finding a way where there seems to be none.
a person, thing, or situation that is mysterious, puzzling, orambiguous
Inside I am split into a minutiae of fragments and pieces of self, each containing its own energy- the energy produced through the formation of memories and which continues to live within the mind. Those pieces are carefully stored within millions of containers within my mind in a very deliberate, albeit subconscious process. Many are locked and I do not have access to them. Many others are now known. Others still are becoming known and slowly clearing in my vision, similar to the process of focusing a lens of some type. I think of these things as the quanta that comprises my mind and self.
All of this sums up to much of myself being an enigma to the self who sits out here, on the outside. I am like an archaeologist, anthropologist, a psychologist, and a teacher unto the rest of myself. Most of me I fail to understand. What I can understand I have trouble living with and being at peace about.