Thursday, November 10, 2011


This is a representation of a recurring dream I have. The dream always involves forgotten cats and kittens in someone's basement. I am always trying to rescue them and take them home and I am always worried that my husband won't like it if I bring them home and I worry about how I will care for them. My suspicion if that the cats and kittens are symbolic of my lost, split off selves. I think my mind chose this symbol because I love and can bond with cats. Its my inside people's way of getting me to care about them and be motivated to save them.

The Wise Virgin

I wait for you, my Master.... I wait.
I keep my lamp lit through the darkness of this world
The light in my lamp reminds me that there is hope
Preserve my chastity, Master, while I wait
Tears dry in time
For abundance of sorrow my hope fades and my oil dwindles
Fill my lamp, O sovereign One
Light my flame
Give me patience to wait... and to stay wise.


I used to avoid anything to do with butterflies because of reading about "Monarch Programming". But now I am skeptical that any programming method goes by this name as the source of this name is not a credible one and can't be found anywhere else. There are several authors who talk about this programming, but I believe all of them get their source material from Fritz Springmeiger who can't be considered a credible source. If anyone has any other material that shows that programming by this name actually exists, please let me know.

Sunday, November 06, 2011



Doors by elianahephzibah on

I feel surrounded by closed doors most of the time. I know the parts of myself that doors are closed most securely to. The trouble is, I can't be whole or put the past where it belongs when memories and parts of me are in suspended animation behind these doors. In front of groups of doors inside there is always a guardian that keeps things secure for me.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Emerald Serpent

The Emerald Serpent

The Emerald Serpent by elianahephzibah on

I've been trying to come up with a way to portray this literally for years. I think I've finally gotten it right.

This set depicts a memory of a ritual trial I had to undergo during the adolescent years. It was in a Greek temple setting and involved Green Mamba venomous snakes. The object of the trial was to completely control one's bodily fear responses, right down to breathing and sweating.  

Jesus Wept I

Monday, October 24, 2011

Dance of the Furies

Stroiki Requiem

Stroiki Requiem

Stroiki Requiem by elianahephzibah featuring diamond rings

The word "Stroiki" kept coming to me out of the blue tonight. I googled it and found out it is Polish for "wedding". Interesting. Then it provoked or inspired this collage.

In this journey through the archaeology of my mind and the emergence of things lost sometimes just a concept, a word, or a name will emerge without any understanding of where it came from or why it is important. So I make note of it and put it in my mental file cabinet.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Internal Hierarchy Borders

Internal Hierarchy Borders

Internal Hierarchy Borders by elianahephzibah on polyvore

When a person has been subjected to formal, deliberate, and standardized mind control programming practiced by the US government intelligence black projects and others, their system of alter groups are organized according to color. In fact if a DID person expressed their interior persons in terms of groupings according to color, I would consider that diagnostic of this kind of mind control having been a part of their background story, whether they know it or not.

Internal Hierarchy

Internal Hierarchy

Internal Hierarchy by elianahephzibah on

This is a portrayal of internal system color coded hierarchy with associated imagery.
Purple is highest and represents the most power and high spiritual plane.

Blue is a kind of everyday gateway system who tends to be spiritually oriented as well. The branching represents how purple came from the blue section somehow.

Green is the structural and technical area. It holds mind control experimentation and the more
sophisticated programming is based here.

Red represents sexuality and slavery. The curtain indicates performance and being used by others.

Walk of Doom

Walk of Doom

Red Room




tubes fantastiques - Page 13

tubes fantastiques - Page 7

tubes animaux - Page 82



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Reluctant Participants

Reluctant Participants

Reluctant Participants by elianahephzibah on

Halloween is supposed to be an innocent and fun holiday, but for some growing up occasions such as this were an opportunity for organized abuse and exploitation. What I hoped to capture in this set is the sick mix that is commonly found in gatherings of this type: young children in pajamas, sexualized adolescents, adults partaking of debauchery all together in a horrific celebration. I hope this picture stays with people and prompts them to say a prayer this season for those who suffer.

TUBES PAYSAGES - background

Tubes paysages - Page 11

avsis - album "Scrap / Autumn" on Yandex.Fotki



mes tubes enfants - Page 3

Mes tubes myst - Page 4

tubes chats - Page 16