Tuesday, October 20, 2009
This is the story of the life of one of my alter selves, now integrated. Her name was Escape, and escape was what she was all about.
One dark night, while being made to attend a ritual gathering in the woods, she decided to see what would happen if she just faded slowly into the darkness step by step. As she slowly faded back into the darkness, no one noticed her. In fact, before this, this was one of her greatest pains; that of being invisible. Well, now she would use that to her advantage and once completely cloaked in darkness, she made a break for it and ran, and ran, and ran through the dark woods to the safety of her own home and bed.
She would pay for this transgression, but keep running she did. She ran away by hitchhiking, but was caught roughly 1,500 miles from home, and sent back. Still she kept running and would never be ignored again. She ran through drinking and smoking. She ran through outright rebellion. She ran until the truth was known, and there was safety and no reason to run anymore. Now she rests within.....
Sunday, October 18, 2009
This collage is about the year my life exploded and I woke up from a nightmare that was being lived by me. It was outside of my awareness, but no less real. I went into the year with emerging alter selves who spoke of sinister things suggesting that I was subjected to much more than "regular" family sexual abuse, but something much more organized. During the ensuing unfolding of what had been my history, I became aware of having been used in local cult networks and the identities of some of the perpetrators. Things became very dangerous for me very fast, and by the end of the year, I was fleeing for my life across the country to start entirely over.
I am no longer the person who went into 2005.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
This video says it all about what is my life and experience. I wish it wasn't. I wish I could retreat into the comfort of insanity, but I cannot. I cannot because it is real. It is my life. Now I am trying so hard to become One. Only in becoming One can one be safe from living a double life behind one's own back...