Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Trusting Jesus For Memory Recovery
This set represents an experience I had at the beginning of my memory recovery journey. It was in 1991 and the first memories of abuse were beginning to emerge in fragments. I was agonized over not being able to remember what had happened to me.
So one day I decided to hypnotize myself so I could explore my subconscious mind and find out what happened to me. I did this by visualizing myself descending stairs and counting backwards from ten.
As I was doing this, suddenly Jesus appeared to me standing in my way on the stairs. I became angry and demanded he get out of my way. He stepped aside just a little so I could see the bottom of the stairs.
There I saw a closed door with light around it. I immediately felt great fear. He asked me how I felt looking at that door and I just began to cry and fell against him. He held me and said that I needed to trust him with this process. He promised me that he would go before me and open the door when it was time and would give me the courage to face whatever was behind it. But now was not the time. I needed to trust him. I made that choice.
Now, years later, I understand why this block occurred. What was behind that door was worse than anything I had ever imagined. He brought me through that door and is walking with me and helping me assemble the puzzle that is my life and history.