Monday, December 25, 2006

Yes Virginia, There Is A God......Yes Virginia. There Is Hope…Today

Forget about wondering if there is a “Santa Claus”…A vain hope. Forget all of the Christmas shows we watched on TV throughout our whole childhood, which all proclaimed that the greatest tragedy that could befall a child on Christmas was for there to be nothing under their tree on Christmas morning. That is a lie.
Those cultural lies which have strangled the wonder and magic that all of the Christmas season should be imbued with have once again focused our culture on the almighty dollar, which, lets face it, garners our worship more than anything. She is a harsh mistress, and she has power to enslave exhaustively.
But, during the Holiday season, no one knows loss, and no one experiences horror like one trapped in occultic ritual abuse.

I am referring to everyone who is trapped in this system. The perpetrators were once victims, and still are. The victims will one day be forced to be perpetrators, regardless of wish or will. But here is what God has to say on the matter:

Isaiah 9:2 & 6

2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

So, I offer this message as a beacon of hope to all trapped in darkness today and all days. There may not be a Santa Claus, and you may have nothing of substance under the tree, or you may have a ton of presents which might represent chains, but the Light has come.

I offer this passage of hope to put the focus back where it belongs. It is a proclamation that applies to all people, especially people trapped in darkness and terror. I offer my commentary in the midst of a timeless passage of scripture.

This is Jesus speaking to you. It is his promise to you given on this honored day:

Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD's Favor

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom for the captives
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

It is every disciple of Jesus’ call to follow in his footsteps by allowing Him to remake us into that which we otherwise would not be able to be. So, as this was, and is Jesus’ mission, so it is ours as well. I spent 39 years in captivity until being rescued by God himself a year ago this Christmas season. So, I stand on the other side of the abyss and proclaim that freedom can be had by all, because in these timeless words, He has promised it, and I am experiencing it. And it is now my mission to continue the fight against the dragon and reach back into the darkness and help those who are where I used to be. I stand as a testament to all, that God does not lie, and freedom can be had, even if it seems so long in coming.

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

Through my healing journey, which is far from over, I have experienced God giving me all of these things, sometimes in bizarre and miraculous ways. The journey is arduous, but He sees all, and honors our efforts, and will not disappoint, even though sometimes we have to face very painful truths and memories to receive these gifts.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

This is a promise to us, if we have the courage to move ever forward and embrace it. The ancient ruins, the devastated places, and the ruined cities all are representations of the whole of who we are: body, soul, and spirit; all of which people and Satan have sought to destroy. And, as this passage points out, the nature of this is generational. The tragedy that we have suffered, our parents suffered, and their parents…and on, and on; but, through the power of God, we can stop the cycle, and through hard work and by His grace the whole of who we are can be rebuilt into a glorious city. He is doing it for me. He can do it for all of us.


7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

All of us, who have suffered ritual abuse, and all of who have suffered abuse of any kind, but especially sexual abuse, have lived our lives in shame. Sometimes it is secret. Sometimes it is hidden…even from ourselves. But there is One who knows it all, and there is only One who can remove it. The One, whom we honor in this season, is the same One who sees all. He sees our shame. He sees the injustices done to us, to our parents, to our children…and yes, the injustices that we ourselves, to our own shame, which feels everlasting, have done to others. But, the miracle of this season is all about how He, in one stroke of the pen, and with one drop of His own blood, can and will, wipe it all away. We might not feel it right away, but our inheritance because of this sacrifice is freedom, healing, peace, and joy. I confess, I don’t really even understand what joy is. I have felt it so seldom in this life. But with the help of God, and those that truly serve Him, I am seeing and beginning to experience what joy is. I recently read that the true definition of joy is the experience of being glad to be with someone. The very name of Jesus embodies joy, because it is Emmanuel, which literally means, God with us. He is glad to be with us, even if in our pain and confusion, we cannot feel it.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

This season, regardless of how little money I have, and how few presents I have to give to my children this year, the greatest gift, next to the grace given to me by the Father of Lights, is that we are all together. I have spent the last year separated from one of my children; one of the costs of the pursuit of freedom. I never thought it would come to that, but it did. But thanks to God, and some Christian friends, we are all together once again. I could not receive greater gifts. I have faith that they also will find peace and healing in time, by the same grace that I have received, and which because of this birth of births, is offered to all.

10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation

and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

I could not say it better myself, but these words are my words. Long ago, He planted a garden in me, and He has faithfully tended it, all these years. I have seen it grow, in spite of blight and thorn, and He is causing my plants to bear good fruit. And, this Christmas season, I offer to you a full bushel.
In addition to my thoughts above, here are timeless lyrics from my generation, which exemplify the journey which I have undertaken, and which I challenge everyone to join me on:

By: Mr. Mister
The wind blows hard against this mountainside
Across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide
Setting my feet upon the road
My heart is old it holds my memories
My baby burns a gemlike flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine
Is where I find myself again
Kyrie Eleison (Lord Have Mercy)
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison (Lord Have Mercy)
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison (Lord Have Mercy)
Where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison (Lord Have Mercy)
On a highway in the light
When I was young I thought of growing old
Of what my life would mean to me
Would I have followed down my chosen road
Or only wished what I could be

Soli Deo Gloria!
To God Alone Be The Glory!


Jewels1 said...


As always, our stories are so parallel. It is the Nature of the abuse we suffered. Yet, also, the Miracle of God's love for us and His deliverence from the abyss!!

I so greatly enjoyed Christ-mas with my family this year. Unashamedly and unabashedly! Two of my brothers who abused me were there, and my sister who was my "twin" in the abuse. It is gone. The tension, the fear, the dysfunctions between us children-now grown. Gone. I may not ever completely forget, but I have truly been enabled by my Father to forgive...and heal.

It has been over 30 years since I set my feet on the path of healing. It has been a long and arduous road, but so well worth every step! And like the poem I have framed on my wall, when there was only one set of footprints, My Jesus was carrying me! Oh, the JOY of knowing we are loved!! First by our Father in Heaven, then, through His love, by-and for- our family!

I am so happy you were also able to be reunited with family. I rejoiced in seeing my daughter with her 2 children and her boyfriend right there with her, at my parents. And to have my two siblings who live down south come up...well, it was wonderful! I have one more brother still trapped in the quagmire of self-abuse and the misery of alcoholism. He didn't make it up. Nor has he found freedom yet. We are all praying and rooting for him!

No, it isn't the gifts under the tree that truly matter, it is the gifts of Love and Freedom and TRUTH! Those are the greatest gifts of all!

I thank God you are on your way, and what a beautiful tribute to your journey this was.


anonymz said...

I personally hate this time of year, it is such a let down, and I worry about bad things happening. But it is nice to know it gets better.

Joy said...

You have such a tremendous story to share with so many others who have suffered this horrific abuse. You are truly a light in a dark place!

Keep on writing!!