Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I'm Still Here- Putting Things In Their Proper Order

Greetings all.
This is just to update you all on what has been going on in my life, and how it has impacted my ability to get blog posts up.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:


This is a season in my life which mainly revolves around the discovery of my true history, the reclaiming of my lost humanity, and the journey toward the fusion of my highly fragmented identity. This quest has required much inner reflection and spiritual contemplation, as well as construction and maintenence of many security measures to protect me from intrusion from those who would interfere in this process, and try to drag me back into a fragmented, dangerous way of life.


I guess it could be said that everyone is on a quest to find out who they truly are, but in my case, my identity has been wrapped up in so much deception and illusion that it requires almost monklike discipline to unravel. Because of this, I have embraced God completely as my source of truth, and shepherd, guiding me in what direction to take next on this long and arduous oddysey.

I have discovered that my whole life, up until about a year ago, has literally been lived as a double life. There has been a part of me who has lived a public life, believing I had freedom of choice, while at the same time feeling a constant sense of entrapment in something that always eluded my understanding. That is until "the awakening". With this awakening, I have realized over time how I have always lived another very real shadow life. This life was one of slavery and control, and one which was very much a literal "hell" on earth.

With these discoveries has come a renewed determination to reclaim my humanity which has been stolen from me in the most heinous ways, as well as a firm resolve to create a new life for myself and my family. This life will be one where all parts of me have a free choice in life, and who serve the One and True God, not some ambitious Luciferian world system.

My whole life I've been handed a destiny by others, starting in earliest childhood; trained accordingly, and then used for other's gain. I never chose it, but was always told that this desiny was a fate that just IS, and cannot be fought or changed, no matter how hard one struggles against it. Fighting and running from one's pre-ordained destiny would only lead to misery they said, and acceptance of this fixed future would be the only way to true peace.

But I have learned that no one can know my destiny, except for the One who created me and knew me before I even was. More importantly, I always have a choice, and it is meant to be discovered over time, not handed to me by people who seek to utilize my purpose and skills to further their own ambitions. I have also learned that peace does not come from following one's prescribed "destiny", but simply from staying close to the Prince of Peace, from which all peace flows.

So, this is the life I choose for myself, and I am in the process of painfully rescuing and reconstructing my true myriad identities, and offering all parts of me a place in the world where fear and control are not the guiding forces.

God has made it clear to me that this season is about my release from this bondage which grows out of deep and intense inner work and healing; and that most outreach to help others through what I have learned would be premature at this juncture. This has led to the decision that things like this blog and all of the many internet communication networks to which I have previously dedicated so much time and energy have to be put on the back burner for the most part.

Since this is only a season, there will be another season sometime in the not too distant future where I will share what I have learned from my own journey to hopefully help others in their own quest for freedom, as well as to educate people in general regarding what is really going on in their country, communities, and churches.

I believe there is wisdom in the waiting until one can come from a position of strength and stability to reach out to others in a big way, and this wisdom comes from the God of the Universe, not from me. My natural tendency would be to do it the opposite way. I have learned lessons, however, from other survivors before me who jumped into education and outreach before they had accomplished enough of their own inner healing. This way of doing things eventually leads to one crashing and burning and getting enmired once again in the very system that they have been trying so hard to overcome.

I am determined that this is not what is going to occur with me, by the grace of God, and so I submit to His wisdom, which is the only wisdom which will truly lead to the development of me as a glorious tree bearing much healthful fruit.

I'm still here.

5 comments:

Momtomany said...

May God richly bless you and honor your dedication to putting things in their proper order. I will look forward to your future posts and continue to pray for your healing.

I'm signing with my screen name that I have used for several years. I think you will understand.

Facetsofus said...

Godspeed Severina. I know your work is far from easy but by His grace and mercy, I know you will be finally and once and for all, truely free. You are in my prayers each and every day.

deborah said...

thank you for posting your beautiful words. your courage and faith will sustain you. may God continue to bless you with the peace of his love. i love and bless you, too. :-) <3<3<3
~deborah

Allie said...

I was so glad to finally read some words form you again. I miss you much, and am praying always. Call or write if you can.

They Live! said...

Hi. I came across your blog today while doing a search for info on the "Babylon working" (which you talk about in the most recent post), as I'd just heard about the connections of Crowley/Parsons/Hubbard to the possible gateway for extra-terrestrials.

I found your blog interesting.

Many victims of mind control have reported to have success with keeping their handlers at bay with the use of orgone generators, and other related items. There is a great website called educate-yourself.org which has a great info page on orgonite http://educate-yourself.org/dc/orgonegenindex.shtml

I have been making and using orgonite for a few years now and can definitely testify as to its effectiveness.

Take Care.