Sunday, August 28, 2005

Chilling Reality

I wrote this back in the beginning of May [2005], the day after my daughter's attemped abduction. Since then, I have noticed so many stories in the news media about abduction. I don't know if it is happening more, or if I am just noticing it more, because of what happened to us. I would welcome any insights.

It was the hallmark event for an extremely tumultuous month, where I hung on for dear life, and thankfully made it through a much stronger person. I posted it back then on live journal, but I thought I would put it here. It stands as a reminder of the reality of this situation, and the war that is underway.

Yes, I asked for it and I got it.
I wanted confirmation that I was not imagining these things.
I wanted to know if it was for real.
Was it real that I was the victim of a satanic cult/organization?
Is it true that I am programmed on many levels that I haven’t even begun to tap into yet?

And the biggest question of all……..Am I out?
Are they truly gone? Is it all in the past like people say?
Or is it not over?
Are they there? Do they know what I’m doing? Do they know where I’m at?
And the scariest one. Will they try to get me back? Will the living nightmare that was my childhood, every day of every season, of every year become reality once more? Was I just given a brief hiatus? I decided when I was 15 on my single purpose goal of getting out of that family, out of that town, and out of that state. I didn’t stop until it was realized. I thought I was free. Indeed I lived in not so blissful ignorance of the vast enormity of the situation. It was merciful. If I had known back then what is being revealed to me now in vague recollections, voices from the inside, impressions and intuitions, and now even overt reality, it would have swept me out to sea like a giant tidal wave, and I would have drowned without a life preserver.
But I do have a life preserver in the One who created me, the One whose plans for my life far supercede any diabolical scheme ever conceived in this realm. But, right now, I feel as if I am treading water, floating in my own sea of incredulity and disbelief. This One, who has given me the strength, the heart, and the will to pursue truth above all, seems so far as the Rulers of this Plane rise up in front of me like a threatening storm.

My daughter went to Chicago for a choir festival this weekend. She left Thursday, May 5, 2005. That was the day that I was crying out to God for something concrete to explain the madness. I wanted something that would convince me one way or another about the truth or delusion of my recent revelations. Well, I got it and I’m not so sure now that I really wanted to know.

She called Friday night, May 6. She had been having fun exploring the shopping district on Michigan Avenue. The “Magnificant Mile” they call it. Her friends wanted to browse around in the Marshall Fields department store. Her, being more of the artist and performer that she is, was more interested in the street performers who were entertaining the passing shoppers with their dancing.

That was when things started to get surreal and strange. That is when the crack in her denial that any of the horrors her mother endured had anything at all to do with her split wide open.

A middle aged middle class type of woman creeped up close to her, getting in her personal space. The woman had a large shopping bag that she placed her purse into and leaned in, pressing the bag into C--. C--, indignant at the intrusion, asked what the woman was doing, who then replied with an annoyed tone, “Get out of here.” “Why?” stated C---, “I’m not doing anything wrong.” “Yes, you are” was the response. When the ire of the teenage girl arose, and she began to protest, the woman said, “I have a car down the street coming to get you, so you’d better leave now.” C---, still not understanding who this seemingly normal maniac was and where she was getting off, saying such things, just sat there, puzzled and perplexed. The woman then said the chilling words that were meant for my ears to eventually hear. The words which have haunted me and reverberated through my very soul every day of my life, whether I was consciously aware of them or not, “We are everywhere. We know where you are and we’re coming to get you.”

Now, the crack becomes a gaping chasm through which C--- starts to fall, and through which we are all continuing to fall. Now we all know that this is no fantasy. These aren’t the paranoid delusions of a disturbed woman. Oh, that they were, then the antipsychotics would simply silence them, but no, this is reality, like it or not.

C---, then breaks down into a ball weeping and shaking, when her friends, coming out from their shopping, see what’s going on and try to intervene. They confront the woman and tell her to leave their friend alone. She steps away, closer to the performers to mask her conversation that she is now initiating on her cell phone. One of the friends overhears what she says however, “We have her here, I see her, and we can get her.” All the while the woman, whose eyes would be described later by the students who stood witness to this bizarre drama as “not there”, “disturbing”, like “her sanity had been stripped from her, and not of her own volition.” I guess you had to be there, although, I know those eyes from many in my lifetime. They are as familiar to my memory as the pristine Pikes Peak under whose shadow I used to live and whose magnificence was a daily part of my every day life. But alas, one more beautiful thing that has been taken from me by them. Yes, I know just what they are struggling to describe.

There she stands with those eyes cold and calculating as those of the snake, staring at C---, huddled in there in abject terror; and she’s smiling. Not the warm nurturing smile of a kind woman, but the sinister, mocking “Cheshire Cat” smile of the diabolical. She is thoroughly amused by what she sees, the panic, the confusion, the pure incredulity of all involved.

Then, a “nice” young couple arrives on the scene. They show concern for the quivering girl and ask what’s wrong. When she tells them, they downplay things and state that the woman is just “crazy”. They tell C--- that they will take her home and start to hail a cab, while meanwhile most of the friends have gone into the store to fetch the authorities. C---, feeling all alone and scared and wanting someone to trust, gladly accepts the couple’s offer of escape. She just wants to get out of there, away from the woman, back to the safety of the hotel. They ask where she is staying and she tells them. Just then, the crowd of friends comes back out with the security guards and upon seeing the number of kids, the couple decide to instead give the cab driver money to take C--- and her friends back to the hotel, instead of they themselves escorting her there.

But, were they really an innocent, “nice” couple? Were their intentions really amiable? Or was this all part of the whole game. I, and those of us who have been a part of the dark world, know these games all too well: good cop/bad cop, abuser/rescuer, and cruel perpetrator/kind rescuer. It’s all part of the scheme of confusion, lies and deception. It is meant to perpetuate the feeling that no one can be trusted. Kindness cannot be discerned from malice. That’s the way the world is, when you are part of the diabolical underground kingdom of this world.

So, that’s where this story ends. But where will it lead? Is there more to come? Is there more fear, more confusion down the road. I think so. This is probably just the beginning. But they made one very grave mistake. They finally made believers of a whole lot of people who were sitting on the fence of disbelief and incredulity. We all now know that this is real, and far from being discouraged, it just makes us want to fight, and fight we will. I will never give up. I will never cave. They will never get me or my children, no matter what lengths have to be taken or what prices there are to pay; for my treasure is not on this earth, for my heart is in the Kingdom Eternal, and where my heart is, there my treasure will be also.

The battle has begun. We will win, and we will hurt them. I promise you that.

May 7, 2005

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