Friday, July 22, 2005

On Fear And Going Public

[This is a repost from a while ago. This blog was hacked and this post and another were deleted. Apparently someone is threatened by what I write and doesn't believe in the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution.]

This record is not just a nifty place for me to rant. It is a testimony. It is a chronicle of my journey as it unfolds along the way. Already, since its inception, the journey has taken me on surprising twists and turns. My life seemed complicated when I started this, and has only become more so, as well as becoming like some wierd movie. I would probably not believe it if I weren't living it and experiencing it. For awhile, when I first started to discover these things, I was very fearful, but after much thought and struggle, I have come to the decision that I do not want to live my life out of fear, because I have discovered, as Paul Atreides did in "Dune", that "Fear is the mind killer". Once it takes root in ones spirit, it is a dark poison that permeates the whole person and strangles hope. It provides the very fertile ground in which the weeds of despair, and desolation grow.


I want my testimony to be mostly public because people need to know that we are out here and we are not freaks or fanatics. Since buried memories of abuse began to surface 17 yrs. ago, I have prayed constantly for God to lead me into all truth. I have faith that he has and will continue to grant me that prayer because it is one of the virtues that He desires in His children. I cling to the scripture that says:

then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

I am of the belief that the prayers that are guaranteed to be granted are the prayers that sincerely, in our heart of hearts, are for virtues that he desires to cultivate in us. These are things like truth, wisdom, love, steadfastness etc. etc. I have continually prayed for truth and I believe it has and will continue to be revealed to me. It is very hard to face and contrary to what some have accused me of, I do not wish for the bitter and horrible truths that have been and are being uncovered to be true. Indeed, they do not go down smooth, but painfully, like the jagged little pills that they are. The implications of a whole lot of things are enormous and I am bound to lose people I love because of them. However, I know that through the experiencing and sharing of them, my true friends and family will emerge with the promise of true relationship, not relationship based on a lie, as was my experience growing up.

There is also a larger reason for people to know about what happened to me and others who share my testimonial. There is a hidden/occult society behind the mask of everyday normalcy where dark plans are afoot, and where unspeakable atrocities are everyday committed. These crimes we stand witness to. They are crimes against children, crimes against families, crimes against society, and ultimately, the world. There is a need for people to wake up to what is going on all around them, to open their eyes to reality, unanesthetized by the constant bombardment and mass mind control of the media. Just as there is a global plan for good which is not hidden from the world but has been gladly shouted from the rooftops for two millenia, there is also a hidden, darker agenda at work. This plan is not shouted out, but contrived and implemented in the dark bowels of society, hidden by a mask of middle to upper class normalcy. There are those of us whose destiny is was to participate in the bringing about of this dark plan, but who refuse to cooperate. We reject the destiny that others chose for us, and embrace the calling from the One who truly loves us. Unlike the former, whose plans ultimately result in our destruction, the One who rescued us has in mind peace, love and hope and ultimately eternal reward at the end of the road. We who have listened to the bright clarion call of the trumpet of truth and have followed it out of the dark caves and labyrinths where we were imprisoned. Many in society will call us "cranks", "fanatics" "conspiracy nuts","deluded", or just plain liars or whatever marginalizing names and categories they can put us in, because the truth is hard. The truth is frightening. The implications which, if really taken seriously, would require one to rouse out of their blindness, take big risks, and stand against seemingly impossible odds. However, I cling to this:

28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28

So, it is not for myself that I write. It is for the world, and it is for truth, because:

13But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. John 16:13

By Severina

strengthened and nurtured by Ruash Yasha.

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