Yes Nostalgia

Yes Nostalgia by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

Not all of my memories are terrible. Here is a collage about one of my fondest memories. It was my first concert experience. I was 16 years old and actually was most interested in and bought tickets to see the opening act, which was Berlin. I took my sister and sadly, Berlin didn't show. At the time, all I THOUGHT I knew of Yes was the currently popular song, "Owner of a Lonely Heart". My older and wiser sister told me that I would surely love what was coming and that I would recognize many Yes songs.

Boy, was she right. Yes absolutely took my breath away. It was the first and best to date concert I have ever seen or experienced. They are beyond compare.

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In Memoriam

In Memoriam by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

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Escape

Escape by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

This is the story of the life of one of my alter selves, now integrated. Her name was Escape, and escape was what she was all about.
One dark night, while being made to attend a ritual gathering in the woods, she decided to see what would happen if she just faded slowly into the darkness step by step. As she slowly faded back into the darkness, no one noticed her. In fact, before this, this was one of her greatest pains; that of being invisible. Well, now she would use that to her advantage and once completely cloaked in darkness, she made a break for it and ran, and ran, and ran through the dark woods to the safety of her own home and bed.
She would pay for this transgression, but keep running she did. She ran away by hitchhiking, but was caught roughly 1,500 miles from home, and sent back. Still she kept running and would never be ignored again. She ran through drinking and smoking. She ran through outright rebellion. She ran until the truth was known, and there was safety and no reason to run anymore. Now she rests within.....

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2005

2005 by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

This collage is about the year my life exploded and I woke up from a nightmare that was being lived by me. It was outside of my awareness, but no less real. I went into the year with emerging alter selves who spoke of sinister things suggesting that I was subjected to much more than "regular" family sexual abuse, but something much more organized. During the ensuing unfolding of what had been my history, I became aware of having been used in local cult networks and the identities of some of the perpetrators. Things became very dangerous for me very fast, and by the end of the year, I was fleeing for my life across the country to start entirely over.

I am no longer the person who went into 2005.

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When The Bough Breaks

This video says it all about what is my life and experience. I wish it wasn't. I wish I could retreat into the comfort of insanity, but I cannot. I cannot because it is real. It is my life. Now I am trying so hard to become One. Only in becoming One can one be safe from living a double life behind one's own back...

Never Again

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I Will Go Before You

I Will Go Before You by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

Isaiah 45: 2-3

2 I will go before you
and will level the mountains;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.

3 I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

This set depicts my whole soul/mind/spirit. The lower portions are the most trapped and young parts, and furthest back in time.

The top half is present day and the hard work of the adults in our system enabled by God to bring progressive truth and knowledge to all of us and to continually invite God to "go before us" down to the depths of my self and bring revelations of truth to places I don't even know about yet.

He is doing it.

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Kid Tested, Government Approved: MKUltra and Various Similar Atrocities

Kid Tested, Government Approved: MKUltra and Various Other Atrocities by ElianaHephzibah on Polyvore.com

This set is based on an actual memory I have of being taken to a room like this one in a building that was set up like a barracks or a school by family members. I suspect it was on a military base.

A doctor with a German accent came in and handed a leather shaving bag to the two family members present. The bag was full of money.

He then took me into another room where it became easier to become a rag doll than to ever be a little girl again.

After that was yet another room and being filmed in a vile movie. At the end of the long, terrible night I was given some lollipops and the picked up by family.

I was around 3 years of age.

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